Fallen for a Star
by How Like a Winter
Summary: Pre-series. Lucifer offers musical instruction to Castiel, an honor that few angels ever earn. But as the weeks pass, Castiel fears that the Morning Star, who despises the newly-created humans, might be conspiring against God Himself.
1. Suriel

**Fallen for a Star**

When Lucifer walked the golden streets, Castiel couldn't help but listen.

Sometimes, if he wasn't in a hurry, he shut his eyes and swayed back and forth while the archangel's voice rose and fell. He sang of Heaven's beauty with divinely-inspired lyrics that Castiel had never heard before, yet the meaning of the words surfaced in his mind like a memory. Even the sound of Lucifer's voice varied depending on the hour, or the subject of the song, so that no two sounded alike.

Castiel could only guess as to whether Lucifer composed his work ahead of time, or why that particular angel had been blessed so lavishly. The Cherubim, angels who recorded events throughout the history of their existence, penned entire scrolls describing the beauty yet still failed to capture the experience of simply standing nearby as he performed. Some envied Lucifer, but others, like Castiel, admired the talent without jealousy. Castiel loved nothing more than to hear the glorious music that sprung from Lucifer like the stream that flowed from the heavenly throne, casting a brighter light over Heaven wherever he offered his music.

Many angels approached him in the hopes of being selected as one of his pupils, but Lucifer chose only the most gifted among them, and didn't bother to spare their feelings when they fell short of his standards. Fearing this, Castiel paced the gardens with his hands clasped at his chest. He exhaled soft prayers that Lucifer would not deal too harshly with Suriel, who had left in the early hours to present himself before Lucifer.

While Castiel enjoyed the pieces that Suriel crooned in places of solitude where no one else could hear, his music suffered when others listened. If angels were there to hear him, Suriel had to pant for breath and his voice shook with a fearful vibrato that he had never learned to control, and Castiel knew Lucifer would notice that at once. Still, Castiel could hardly discourage Suriel from auditioning before Lucifer, and now Castiel could only wait and implore that Suriel be blessed with either courage for himself or mercy from the Morning Star.

"Castiel?"

The voice startled Castiel, and he opened his eyes. "Suriel. You have returned."

The other angel nodded, shoulders arched as if weighted down by the mass of feathers that stretched skyward from his back. "I must have done something right. He said yes."

Resting one hand on Suriel's shoulder, Castiel hid his surprise with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "Congratulations." Even though he swelled with pride for Suriel, he could not help but marvel at the impossibility of Lucifer's acceptance.

Then Suriel continued with an announcement even more unexpected than the last. "Lucifer wants to see you tomorrow. Lucky for you, he's found out about your gifts."

Shocked, Castiel crossed his arms at his chest. "My talent is adequate for a—a fifth-rank choir, perhaps, but nothing with which to impress Lucifer." He breathed the name with admiration and bewilderment, as if the name belonged to a legend. It very nearly did. "And he mentioned my name, specifically? You are certain of it?"

"Of course. Besides, I'd hate for you to get away with _not_ facing him, after I had to go through with it." No doubt along with countless other angels, Castiel wondered how this was possible, how Suriel could be saying any of this. A smile crept up Suriel's face, flushed red rather than its usual paleness, with pleasure at having been chosen. "We'll be the envy of all Heaven."

"I don't understand why Lucifer would take any interest in me…but I would never question the Son of Dawn." The last part, Castiel added when a passing Seraph shot a glance in his direction, and Suriel directed the words _Watch it_ to Castiel's consciousness without speaking aloud. The Seraph turned his head but did not comment, to both Suriel and Castiel's relief

Although no others could hear any words that one angel directed to the mind of another, the higher ranks such as Seraphim and Archangels could sense the communication. While they would not chastise anyone for "whispering" to one another, the elders did not hide their contempt for those who did.

_They should know that I mean no disrespect_, Castiel replied.

_Still, it ruffles their feathers that you've caught Lucifer's eye. Not long ago, Lucifer stopped teaching that one, and you better believe he wasn't thrilled about that._

_Lucifer dismissed a Seraph?_

Suriel laughed at Castiel's wide eyes, and they continued down the path as it wound in and out among buildings. They passed through several of the gardens that dotted Lucifer's quarters, though Suriel teased that it was more of a palace fit for the king that Lucifer obviously considered himself to be. Even Castiel frowned at that, but didn't reprimand Suriel. At any rate, Castiel couldn't deny that the whole structure consisted of light, precious gems, and gold so that it sparkled like burnished bronze, practically shaming the mansions of other angels. Naturally that would give Suriel the impression that Lucifer considered himself more deserving than his brothers. Besides, the young Suriel was always carrying on about something, or cracking a joke in an attempt to earn Castiel's laughter. As a result, the other angels disciplined Suriel often enough anyway, determined to wipe that eternal grin off his face.

When they had exited the gardens, Suriel invited Castiel to his quarters so that Castiel could rehearse his song. Like most angelic quarters, Suriel's featured translucent barriers through which the light of Heaven shone while still veiling the rooms from those outside. Various furnishings cluttered the room—a desk, chairs, shelves with a small library, balconies opening onto vistas of the parks below, a garden that yielded Heaven's most wonderful plants.

To Castiel's frustration, stains spotted much of the furniture, dents marked the wood, and dust collected from neglect. No one limited Suriel as to how much he could own, but the higher-order angels grumbled when they noticed the ridiculous state of his home along with his low rank and fairly recent creation, by Heaven's standards. Castiel himself kept his own quarters spotless, a fact which Suriel constantly reminded him of.

Grabbing a lyre that lay on his floor, Suriel seated himself at the table and propped his legs up. "Go ahead, make me jealous. You always do."

Castiel couldn't help but chuckle at Suriel, who still insisted that Castiel was the better of the two even after earning one of the highest honors in Heaven. As Suriel strummed an introduction, Castiel inhaled, chest expanding with air as his heart beat in unison with Suriel's rhythm, and then he opened his mouth to voice one of the oldest psalms. All songs in Heaven resonated throughout the land, and this was no exception, the music of Castiel and Suriel ringing joined with melodies sung by Archangels on Mount Zion to the youngest messenger in the lowest valley. From every place the cries ascended until they chorused as one.

Even as he raised his voice, though, Castiel's mind wandered, and he tripped over one of the words. He pushed more forcefully on the next, burying the mistake in a sweeping crescendo, but Suriel's fingers halted at the lyre and the stream of music stopped like a river's current halting without warning. "I'd laugh, but this is one of the oldest hymns. You know it like the High Temple, Cas. Something's wrong, so you might as well tell me now."

Although Castiel started to say that it was just a mistake, he knew that Suriel would never believe that. So instead he answered, "My mind wandered for a moment. It will not happen again."

Slapping his knee, Suriel howled with laughter until he registered Castiel's less-than-thrilled expression. "You, distracted. Right. Really, what gives? Did you hear what I thought…?"

When Suriel didn't finish the question, that confirmed Castiel's fears. "So I did not imagine it."

"Chin up, you're not crazy after all."

"That's hardly a comfort."

With a shrug, Suriel set the lyre down at his feet and swung his legs around. "Ignore them, Castiel. They're jealous, every one of them. I wasn't kidding about the 'envy of all Heaven' thing, although maybe it does have its disadvantages—"

"They have cut me off like this before, when I was younger, as a disciplinary measure. They should not respond like children, with jealous anger. That does not befit their rank."

"That's the joke of it." Suriel's eyes followed Castiel as he paced around the room, weaving in and out of Suriel's furniture. "But they'll forget soon enough, they always do. Short memory and all. Low-rank no-names like us can't hold their attention for long." Then Suriel smirked and added, "Besides, you'll be under Lucifer's protection soon enough."

_Lucifer's protection indeed_, Castiel thought, and nodded. "Let us continue to practice."

And they did, though the room echoed hollow now without the songs of other angels to surround their own. The Seraphim had blocked all other music from penetrating Suriel's quarters, so that they could not enjoy the choirs of Heaven that had accompanied them before. In the end, Castiel understood that it did benefit him to only hear his own voice, as it would no doubt be in the presentation before Lucifer, but Castiel wished that Jehoel and the others would have cut him off for that reason and not spite alone.

After a night of prayer, Castiel rose with the dawn to appear before the leader of music. On the walk there, Castiel passed Suriel's quarters and awoke him so that Suriel could wait outside the mansion of Lucifer as Castiel had, although he did not know if Suriel would pray on his behalf. Not that Castiel doubted Suriel's devotion to him, because the two were rarely apart for long, but because Castiel never saw Suriel pray anymore. He didn't even bother to close his eyes when they praised the humans at the Mount of Assembly. Castiel had quietly mentioned this once when really he wanted to shake Suriel by the shoulders and command him to do it for his own good, but Suriel never failed to change the subject.

When they reached the gardens of the courtyard, Suriel groaned at the sight of a throng of angels standing there. "Great, they're having church out here," he muttered to Castiel. Again, Castiel nearly scolded Suriel, but he held his tongue.

As much as it pained him to admit it, Suriel had every right to be upset. If any other angel had come to appear before Lucifer, multitudes would have gathered to pray for their friend and hear the outcome, but no one had come for Suriel the previous day just as none would wait for Castiel. Even when he and Suriel so much as approached the crowd, they shrunk away into groups of three or four that lowered their prayers to whispers or stopped altogether. This was, Castiel knew, exactly what Suriel expected.

But Castiel swallowed his bitter thoughts at once, remembering how they once welcomed him into their circles, at least until he walked with Suriel. This wasn't the first time the hosts had responded in such a way, and it wouldn't be the last, and that was why Castiel didn't have the heart to admonish Suriel for his remark. Really, they were lucky that no one openly glared at them or, even worse, politely thanked Castiel for displaying "such admirable patience" towards Suriel. Instead, they just bowed their heads to indicate that they were less than thrilled to see the two.

_I'm wounded_, Suriel whispered in Castiel's mind, placing a hand against his forehead for the others to see. _Oh wait, Lucifer's chosen me above every one of them._

After some time, an older angel that Castiel recognized as Omael trudged out of the mansion, shaking his head. The others circled and wrapped their wings around him in a gesture of comfort, offering soothing words, but hushed at once when Castiel began to stride up the steps that led to a pair of doors, the shadow of which extended over the courtyard. Now the angels _were_ glaring, and probably praying that Lucifer would tear Castiel apart with criticism, maybe silence his songs forever.

Well, Castiel wasn't sure about the last part, but he could feel their many eyes upon him, and he straightened his spine, summoning an air of confidence to irritate them in his only means of retaliation.

Everything within the mansion displayed Lucifer's taste for luxury like the outside, if not to a greater degree, but Castiel barely noticed the tapestries hanging from the walls of jasper and onyx when his eyes fell on Lucifer. Castiel dropped to his knees, rested his head against the crystal floor. In the few seconds that he stared at the Archangel, Castiel realized that the Lucifer more than mirrored the beauty of his house. Wings hovered over Castiel with serpentine feathers that stretched out like the rays of his namesake, the Morning Star. A jeweled robe trailed behind Lucifer and his face glowed with radiance, each eye a burning orb that split the light into an array of rainbowed beauty.

_Castiel_.

The sound of his name tickled his ear like a zephyr, passing through with the gentlest touch. But when Castiel stood to his feet, Lucifer gave no indication that he had spoken, aloud or to Castiel's consciousness.

"You must be Castiel."

He even spoke in music, three quick staccatos followed by a pause on the last word, tasting it on his tongue. While Castiel focused on steady breathing so that he could sing properly, he replied with a nod and prayed silently. It troubled Castiel when he disappointed any angel, but he could not bear the thought of _this_ one condemning his best efforts.

"You are the friend of Suriel's." Because Suriel had but one. Although overwhelmed by Lucifer's majesty, Castiel could not help but grit his teeth at what he understood to be an insult. "Make no mistake, his abilities astonish me for one so young," Lucifer continued, and Castiel dared a tiny smile, "as does his boldness. He demanded that I hear you as well."

Suriel, demanding something of Lucifer. That sounded about right. Unsure of what to say, Castiel nodded again.

"What a quiet one…so different from your little friend. You have a voice, I'm told?" His tone was strangely playful, as if this amused him.

"Y—yes." The air just wouldn't come, at first. Castiel wished he wasn't so nervous, but then, he was standing before the Morning Star.

"Then let me hear it as it was meant to be heard, in song."

When Castiel waited for Lucifer to choose an instrument, perhaps a lyre or a trumpet, Lucifer cocked his head to one side in bewilderment. "Are you prepared to begin?"

"Forgive my question, but, you wish for me to sing without accompaniment?"

"But of course. How can I examine the voice in any state other than stripped down to its barest essence?"

Closing his eyes, Castiel started the opening line, willing the uneasy vibrato to steady with every fiber of his being. He swelled where the music called for crescendo and, in the softer sections, dropped the volume to little more than a whisper escaping his lips as they quivered. Though he barely heard the words that tumbled from his throat and filled the mansion, he burst forth with them as though the Lord Himself stood before him instead of Lucifer. As he ended the first verse, he gulped for air and prayed that he could sing the second in the same manner. He embraced every note, straining to reach the higher ones and grasping those at the bottom his range without skipping over them or holding back. At the final line, he expelled every last inch of breath within himself, eyes blinking open to await Lucifer's response.

The Morning Star had folded his wings around himself. "Suriel did not lie. The two of you possess excellent gifts. Gifts that it would be a sin for me not to acknowledge." He lingered on the "s" as he mentioned _sin_, emphasizing it for some reason that Castiel could not understand. "With my teaching, you will reach even greater heights. Heaven will envy Suriel and Castiel, whom they wish to ignore, but your voice will be heard."

The phrase rang familiar in Castiel's mind, and he recalled Suriel saying something to that effect. Staring into those glittering eyes, he shivered.

Lucifer dismissed him with the command that he return at the third hour of each day for musical instruction, and Castiel stumbled out of the palace to find that the host of angels remained at the foot of the steps, searching his face for an answer.

_They will know soon enough_, Castiel decided, and directed his next thoughts at Suriel. _I'm in_. Never had so many heads turned at once as everyone looked then at Suriel, sensing that the two had conversed, and Castiel felt thoughts sent back and forth as the other angels exchanged information. At first, Suriel didn't follow Castiel as he walked away, and smirked at the questioning faces. "Let's go," Castiel said, grabbing Suriel by the arm.

Once out of sight, Castiel smiled through the entire trip back to his home, and Suriel slapped Castiel on the back and congratulated him. "Now _this_ is cause for a celebration."

"What do you suggest?"

As he considered the question, Suriel's wings fluttered, and it pleased Castiel to see Suriel so happy. "Let's climb Mount Zion."

And they did, ascending the high, shimmering white slopes on foot, without a single flap of their wings. They arrived at the peak, where the mists rose, just as the clamor of bells signaled the eleventh hour, and the clanging harmonies reminded Castiel of their blessed opportunity to learn such music from Lucifer. On a whim, he kneeled and hummed a psalm of gratitude. For a moment, he was aware of only the beauty of the nature around him and complete worship, adoring the presence of his Creator in the marvelous creation of Mount Zion. If Suriel could but grasp this love, and not resist it…

_Suriel!_ At sudden rustle of wings, Castiel whirled around, but Suriel was long gone.

The following day, Castiel's wings drooped low, dragging behind him all the way up the steps of Lucifer's manor. Castiel tried to remind himself that there was still reason to rejoice: Lucifer had chosen them._He_ had chosen _them_. But still, why did Suriel resist his Creator so, especially blessed as he was?

"Ah…you made it."

Again, Castiel struggled to think of some suitable response. Lucifer always surprised him with his flippant attitude, as though he were an angel of Castiel's rank rather than the Morning Star. And still, his words carried a melodic lilt of their own, song shaping even his speech. "O-of course."

"No need to be nervous. I don't bite." What an odd thing to say, Castiel thought, and imaged that Suriel would have been grinning. The two were actually quite similar, now that Castiel considered it.

Lucifer unraveled a scroll of music and placed it on a table before his new pupil. "I have written this psalm. You will learn it, and perform it at the Mount of Assembly at the next gathering. You are surprised, Castiel?"

"I did not imagine that you would have me perform so soon." At all, in fact. Many of Lucifer's students did, of course, but Castiel could not envision himself or Suriel before the host of Heaven.

"I believe you will make a quick learner."

Before having Castiel sing through the composition, Lucifer demonstrated. Oh, he demonstrated, song spilling forth in showers of light as he caressed each note. At the end of the piece, Castiel asked the question that burned within him. "Your gifts are far superior to mine, so why do you not perform this instead?"

"Castiel, Castiel, why do you worry about such things? I lead worship for the majority of our time there and, besides the fact that I enjoy the little breaks, it gives me a chance to show you off. And the rest of my students, of course, but especially you and Suriel." Castiel furrowed his brow, and Lucifer chuckled. "You wonder why? You two are very special, and I can't teach that in anyone."

Though Castiel was not sure that he understood completely, he followed Lucifer's direction and sang through the beginning. Lucifer corrected many things: posture, the enunciation of consonants, and even added some trills to enhance the piece. Even so, he never rebuked Castiel with harsh words or insulted him in any way, although Castiel couldn't help but balk at some of Lucifer's odder statements.

One of these occasions arose during one of Castiel's later lessons, when Lucifer mentioned the humans. While Castiel didn't know much about the wingless Men, except that they were apparently to be esteemed above angels, he overheard many angels discussing them with increasing frustration. "They don't understand music as we do," Lucifer had muttered.

When Castiel replied that Man was to be praised just like the creations of Heaven, Lucifer snapped, "Time will tell."

The lesson concluded and Castiel returned to his quarters, where he rehearsed for hours and forgot the incident, until a flurry of wings startled him.

"Suriel." _Why does he come now?_ Busy with lessons and practices, the two had not spoken since the day on Mount Zion when Suriel had vanished without warning.

As Suriel replied, Castiel noticed that Suriel now stood with his shoulders squared, wings upright. For as long as Castiel had known him, Suriel had consistently slouched. His face shone with light, also, as if Lucifer's had spread to him. "Has he told you?"

"What do you mean?

"You've heard about the dissenters, right?"

"Of course." The creation of Man had provoked a split amongst the angels that everyone talked about, even sometimes speaking to Castiel about it; after all, he hadn't been seen with Suriel in a few weeks. A few of them argued that angels deserved higher rank than the humans, while others insisted that this was the indisputable will of God. Michael cautioned several times that some bordered on defying their Father's orders, but no one heeded the warning. "They will come around, with time."

"No. No, they won't." As Castiel narrowed his eyes, Suriel continued, "Lucifer plans to join them. Actually, he'll _lead_ them, and take charge of Heaven."

_What has he been telling you?_"That is impossible." Why, Castiel wondered more than anything, had Lucifer said nothing of this at Castiel's lessons and yet confided in Suriel? Unless he recognized Suriel's doubt already, but Lucifer would not try to manipulate that doubt to drag Suriel into this mad plan. _Would he?_

"You're wrong," Suriel said, but when Castiel disagreed, Suriel disappeared.

Over the next few weeks, Castiel paid attention whenever he passed a group of angels, and most everything that he overheard alarmed him. That is, when they even talked aloud, for now almost all of them whispered to one another in case an Archangel was listening. More than ever before, Castiel felt alone, without even the company of Suriel, except on occasion when Suriel visited to try and persuade Castiel.

"You don't know him like I do," Suriel said, raising his voice. Never had Castiel heard Suriel speak with such anger, even towards the angels who mocked him. "Ask about his plans, and he'll tell you everything. It's no secret. Everyone thinks you're on his side anyway."

"So we're choosing sides now." _How is God allowing this?_

"It's what has to be done."

"Why?" Castiel demanded. "What is so wrong with Heaven that we need to divide the angels and pretend to be gods to fix it?"

As he spoke, Suriel's wings trembled with excitement. "Divided? We're already divided! They treat us like lepers and expect us to take it, they always have. But Lucifer accepts us as we are—flawed, not perfect copies like the others."

Hardly a day passed when Suriel did not come to Castiel, begging him to choose Lucifer. Once, Castiel asked, "What has convinced you that it is better to align with an angel as opposed to the Almighty God?"

"Lucifer can be very…persuasive." Suriel did not meet Castiel's eyes when he said this.

At one of his final lessons before the gathering at the Mount of Assembly, Castiel brought up Suriel's strange behavior, and Lucifer laughed, but with none of the gentle musical cadence that it had been. Instead, he sneered, and the noise shocked Castiel almost as much as Lucifer's next words. "I told you that you were special. You are an outcast among the angels, like the dissenters, and I hope that you will join your teacher in this."

"In _what?_"

Stretching out his wings so that they covered the ceiling and windows, Lucifer blocked all light from the outside of the mansion so that he alone illuminated the room. But his narrowed eyes, once resplendent jewels, had dimmed somehow. "A plan so glorious that you can't even imagine, Castiel. I'm going to remake Heaven so that my followers can worship whom we choose, even if that is to be ourselves. No more rules, or empty prayers, or mindless praise. The Men have free will, and so do we, if we would simply allow ourselves to use it."

He walked circles around Castiel as he spoke, so that Castiel was always turning to face him. But then Lucifer stopped and titled his head to one side when he asked, "Wouldn't you like that?"

Thoughts spun in Castiel's head and he stepped backwards, almost stumbling over his feet. "No. This is a mistake. Do not do this."

Lucifer clicked his tongue. "Not what you want, then?" The mighty form shrank before Castiel's eyes into the shape of a Woman, creatures that even the angels admitted embodied a kind of beauty that one could not find in Heaven. Until now, Castiel had never seen one of these wingless bodies, bare of any covering. The Woman walked up to him, swaying her slim, inviting hips, and Castiel shivered. She approached so close that he could not drag his eyes away from hers, a shade of dark brown that he had never seen on any angel. Inhaling sharply, he breathed the scent of ripe fruit that drifted from the curls that adorned her head like a crown. "Would you like this instead?" she purred, slipping one hand behind his back to stroke the junction where feathers met his shoulder.

His mouth was completely dry. Even when Castiel swallowed, he couldn't get rid of the hoarseness in his voice. "Lucifer, I will never join you."

In his entire existence, no one had looked at him like that; no one had wanted him like that. The energy coiled in her graceful movements reminded him of an Earthly animal, padding toward its prey. The sensations coursed through him like a refined torture, because he could not continue, could not allow this. But, out of either fear or something far worse, he didn't push her away just yet. Not with those lips hovering just centimeters in front of him now, and suddenly they grazed the tips of his own like the brush of a wing, with which he might fly. The fingers of both hands raced through his own wings, tugging at feathers, slithering into the crevices between each one, as her tongue licked his lower lip. When he opened his mouth to speak, or maybe cry out, her tongue slipped in, curling up inside his mouth and against his teeth. She writhed so that her thighs pressed into his, and one of her hands crept down Castiel's pale chest, where every hair stood on end, and she shuddered against him.

Wings flailing desperately, Castiel placed his hands against her shoulders and forced her off of him, and shoved her away. He fled at once for the safety of his quarters and called out for Suriel in his mind, but no one responded. It was beyond that, though. There was a hollowness, a void in the air as If Suriel no longer existed, that terrified Castiel.

His legs buckled under him and he collapsed in a chair, and bent over, head in his hands. He massaged his throbbing temples and wrestled with the images of Lucifer that rose to his memory.

How, Castiel wondered, was he to perform before the angels on the next day? The ceremony had been announced months ago, intended to celebrate the Man and Woman, but even the angels that did not reject the humans could hardly stand next to one of Lucifer's angels without quarrelling. Gabriel himself intervened once, yanking a Cherub away at the last minute, before it attempted to hurt another angel. With Suriel as he was now, Castiel only left the confines of his quarters to attend lessons, but even in those brief intervals, angels sometimes approached him and demanded to know why he sided with Lucifer. No matter how Castiel tried to explain, they often ignored it and promised to pray that he might regain his senses. If all of them met at the Mount of Assembly, the loyalists and dissenters, there would be conflict, and Castiel already dreaded it. Lucifer must have known that Castiel would have avoided such a situation if he could…and perhaps that was why Lucifer was forcing Castiel to sing there, because now he had no choice but to attend.

As Castiel meditated on the floor of his room, Suriel popped in, a grin spread across his face.

"Where were you? What have you been doing?" As he realized that he was shouting, Castiel had softened his voice by the time he reached the last word.

"Enjoying the perks of rebelling against—"

Before Suriel could finish, Castiel clasped a hand over his friend's mouth. "If anyone hears you utter those words, you will be punished."

When Castiel lowered his hand, Suriel snorted laughter. "Like they've punished Lucifer? He's still top dog around here. If they haven't kicked him out already, they never will."

"Why do you say that, Suriel? What has he done?"

The grin widened. "Opened a little door so his followers can walk on Earth. That human Woman, Eve, she's quite the beauty. Showed me some tricks you can't pull off up here."

"Suriel…." Castiel's spirit twisted with pain, crying out within him with such grief that Suriel sensed it, and his smile faded.

"I didn't know you'd be so upset. You used to love our adventures. Remember when we swam the Great River? It's just like that, Cas, you get the same thrill like you're pushing against the current."

In a voice so soft that Suriel strained to hear, Castiel said, "I can not participate in such iniquity. I will not disappoint my Father."

At first, Suriel didn't reply. Then he said, "I'll be seeing you," and disappeared.

When Castiel left his quarters the next day, even the atmosphere of Heaven pulsed with the anxious energy of the angels as they prepared for the gathering. Castiel arrived early to practice one last time with Lucifer, who said nothing of Castiel's refusal the day before, no doubt because his brother Archangels all stood near him and observed silently. Castiel's wings did not tense as they once did when he rehearsed, because Lucifer had taught him how to control apprehension, but Castiel could not meet the eyes of the other students. Besides Castiel and Suriel, Lucifer also taught several others, all of which were about to perform at the Mount. They two were blessed with great talent, and Castiel wondered how many of them served Lucifer.

Angels slowly trickled in, from Cherubim to Seraphim, warriors to Cupids, musicians to messengers. They circled the mountain in a throng of light and wings, and when all had arrived, Michael raised one of his hands to hush the crowd.

"Today with celebrate the sacred ritual that unites the Man and Woman," Michael cried, and the angels whispered to one another. Castiel wondered if the Archangels were aware that the Woman, Eve, had apparently interacted with Suriel, and Castiel tried not to consider what Suriel's words had implied. "They will be fruitful, and they will multiply unto many, until Man fills the Earth."

Unable to concentrate on Michael's speech, Castiel watched Suriel, where he sat at the feet of the Morning Star.

Eventually, they were introduced and invited upon to sing. When Michael called upon Suriel, Castiel heard the complaints at the foot of the mountain, but Suriel quieted them with the first note. Within himself, Castiel mourned that Lucifer had ensnared the youth, who could have achieved high rank and honor with his gifts if not for his rebellion. Regret wrung Castiel's very soul and he closed his eyes as Suriel captivated the audience with his voice. Angels murmured their approval, setting aside their differences and allowing Suriel to lead them in worship as they sang with him.

Not until the end did Michael declare that Castiel was to perform, and lead the multitude in one final hymn. When he stood to his feet, the angels grumbled even louder, and Castiel realized that they must be even more upset with him than Suriel. While the younger one had always rebelled, even the angels who ignored or outwardly disliked Castiel still acknowledged his loyalty to their Father, at least until rumor told them otherwise.

With every word, Castiel climbed in volume and urgency. The others below and above joined him, and he swelled as the vibrations towed through him like an undercurrent and shook his entire body. When Lucifer entered on the second verse, music and light shimmered up into the air above them in sizzling bolts that crackled white, orange, turquoise, and crimson. The mountain quaked, and every soul shook with delight. Even Gabriel's mouth was agape with wonder. Only after the climax did they catch their breath, exhausted, beaded with sweat and basking in the thrumming power like a roaring fire.

Michael spoke again. "The Man and Woman will bear many children, and we will adore these children, knit by our Father Himself in their mother's womb."

Then Lucifer began to rise into the air, even above the mountain, and even his brothers stared upwards at him in shock. A few of the others rose with him, but their numbers were small.

"What are you doing, brother?" asked Michael.

"The music you heard today will fill my kingdom every day. But no one will be forced into it, or made to give it all to those humans."

The angels below broke out into chaos, shaking their fists and yelling condemnation or, worse, their approval. Michael shouted, "This is blasphemy!"

"I'm only telling the truth, brother. Our Father is a tyrant!"

Something within each of them reeled, staggering with the exclamation.

But Michael regained his composure as an aura of light surrounded him. "He has disproven this."

"Oh, and how has He done that?"

Michael's gaze roamed over all the angels before he answered. "You are permitted a choice. If you wish to depart from Heaven and construct your own kingdom, so be it. Any one of the angels can follow you."

"You mistake me, Michael. I don't aim to make some kingdom of my own. We demand Heaven! No angel should suffer exile because they have chosen not to worship the lowly humans. Not one of us was given a choice in that." To the others, Lucifer called, "Will you bow to them? Will you kneel before the animals and worship them?"

Suriel was nodding, and so were many of the others, some that Castiel could not recall ever showing a desire to rebel before. "It is not yours to take," said Michael.

Angels gathered around Lucifer, who looked to the sky and drew a gleaming sword from his side. His hair blew back in the breeze, his cloak wafted out behind him like a flying mantle. "I will ascend to the Heavens!" he cried. "I will raise my throne above the stars of God! I will ascend above the clouds. Who is with me?"

The swarm of voices filled the air again as the myriads screamed in reply.

"Follow me!" Lucifer called down as he lifted higher, and Castiel watched in amazement.

And then Suriel whispered to him, "This is it! We have to go now!"

He launched into the air towards Lucifer and the others. At the last moment, Castiel leapt and caught Suriel's feet, dragging him down.

"No, Suriel! Don't make this mistake."

Behind him, the sky darkened as the shrieks and war bellows of soldiers filled the air. "Hands off, Castiel." He shrugged hard, so that Castiel fell back.

"_Why_?" Castiel had to yell above the uproar of angels clamoring around him, some weeping for their brothers who trailed behind the Bearer of Light, others pleading for their companions to follow.

"Why? Because now I see what your Father is! A tyrant, and I won't bow to Him or his humans."

And he was gone. They all soared into space toward the clouds through which Lucifer rose, weapons gleaming in the light. With crashes and thuds, Michael and the Archangels battled the followers of Lucifer

Then, as if struck by an invisible sword, lightning flashed and Lucifer with his minions were hurled back. They rolled and clattered through Heaven as if thrown, wings colliding as they crashed down past the peaks. As if caught on a tidal surge, every one of them was thorn back a thousand paces to a second mountain.

"You can't stop us!" Lucifer cried. Another thrust cast them over the edge of the Outer Reaches, and their deafening roars followed them.

Castiel stared, aghast, at the empty skies where they had been. Where they could be, he did not know, only that the Morning Star had fallen and his dissenters with him. The loyalists had begged for divine intervention, and He had swept the unfaithful away.

Then, behind Castiel, a quiet weeping broke through the ranks. Even a few of the Archangels lowered their heads, hands still clinging to the swords at their sides. Many had lost dear soulmates and friends, and Castiel knew that Suriel had made his choice, for all eternity, in that blink of madness.

Never had the angels displayed so much emotion, but this had shaken even the hardest hearts. "Lost forever," some whispered. "Please, make it not so."

One by one, angels vanished, fleeing the site of such tragedy. Others turned and began walking back into the land, toward the city, shoulders hunched in sorrow and eyes wet. All around, the voices of Heaven lifted in chilling lamentations. Many friends and loved ones had been wrested from them, gone forever. Castiel lost just one, but it was his only one.

Eventually he alone remained at the mountain, and in the silence he sank to his knees. A presence hung down heavy around him, reassuring him of his Father, but Castiel found himself longing to reach and touch something besides air. Something material, like Suriel.

After the incident, Castiel rarely spoke after, even to his Father. Although so many of the elders had studied under Lucifer just like Castiel, they criticized any of the younger angels who had done the same, and told Castiel that he was no better than the angels who had fallen. In time he learned that the Lucifer's followers had been cast into a pit, and that Lucifer was locked and sealed in a prison at the heart of the pit. Castiel approached Michael once and asked him if it would ever be possible to retrieve some of the fallen angels from the pit. Michael replied that no, although some of them had escaped and roamed the Earth, because Hell had twisted them into something other than angels that no one wanted to speak of.

Castiel pushed all memories of Suriel to the back of his mind. He spent hours praying in solitude or working quietly for his Father, and forgot companionship until one day, when he was singing a psalm under his breath outside his house.

"That's good," he heard someone say. "_Very _good. You must have been one of his students."

At once, Castiel stopped, and his wings tensed as he waited for the angel to chastise him for working with Lucifer. "Yes," he said, without turning around.

"So was I, as it happens. Seems a bit unfair, doesn't it, that they act like we joined him even though we stayed behind?"

Finally Castiel turned around, eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

The angel offered his hand, and Castiel shook it. "The name's Balthazar. I don't believe we've met."

* * *

**AN: This combines two of my favorite things, _Supernatural_ and music! If you've seen the older version and are wondering why the ending changed, that's because I wrote it before Balthazar was introduced. But I like the idea of this leading to their unlikely friendship, and I hope to write a sequel to explore how that friendship developed before the series.**


	2. Eden

**II**.

_A/N: If you read the previous chapter when this story was a one-shot, you may want to reread the ending, as I added Balthazar after Season 6. Here, he's a bit more serious than in the show because he hasn't been to Earth yet and God is still around, but I definitely tried to preserve as much as I could from the Balthazar we see later._

"Why don't we head over to my place? It's so gloomy out here; I don't know how you put up with it."

With a small smile, Castiel nodded, and followed Balthazar without another word.

The road was strangely empty of other angels. Castiel realized that it must be the seventh hour, when most angels traveled to the High Temple to worship together. For years, now, he had hardly ventured outside of his home even to visit the Temple, and he had only been tending to the garden in his courtyard when Balthazar approached him because he felt the need to do something productive. Although Castiel knew in the back of his mind that his Father missed him worshipping at the Temple, Castiel reassured himself that he could still worship from his home, without facing other angels.

"You know, word on the street is that Lucifer's been seeking audience with our Father. Why He puts up with it is beyond me, really. I'd have thrown him back in Hell ages ago. But I suppose that's why I'll never join the upper ranks, isn't it? And speaking of which, did you know that Gabriel's been found at last?"

When Balthazar didn't continue, Castiel thought that he was probably supposed to reply. "I…didn't know he was missing."

"My, you have been out of the loop. Turns out he's been on Earth all along, masquerading as one of the animals. A peacock, was it? I can't remember what Adam's calling them these days."

As they passed Raphael's mansion, Castiel noticed that Balthazar's wings stretched far above Castiel's, and Castiel wondered how old Balthazar was. But instead, he asked, "Angels can go to Earth?"

Balthazar stopped walking and tilted his head to one side. "Sorry, uh…what did you say your name was, darling?"

He hadn't. "Castiel."

"Castiel, what have you been doing this past year? It's only the sport of all Heaven to watch the archangels prancing around down there. One of the only reasons to bother _being_ one, if you ask me. We could probably go ourselves, but as far as I know, no one's dared. Wouldn't want to step on Raphael's toes."

They started walking again, and Castiel frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, he's quite strict about who comes and goes. Doesn't want the likes of us screwing it up." They stopped at the foot of Balthazar's house, a mansion like all the others, but beneath the shadow of Raphael's. "A shame, isn't it?" he commented, as Castiel observed the sight. "Every day, at the seventh hour, for as long as I can remember."

Unlike Castiel's, which held little more than a table and a bed, Balthazar's home resembled Suriel's with its extravagance. But while Suriel had simply amassed jewels and furniture with little care for arranging or keeping it up, Balthazar had clearly spent time placing each object in its proper place. Each room had been painted differently, some with solid colors and others with sprawling murals. "These are beautiful. Did you paint them?" One depicted the hands of their Lord stretched out over Earth, with another illustrating the gates of Heaven.

"Ah, flattery will get you everywhere. I admit that I've dabbled a bit in the arts, but it's difficult to find clientele after Heaven remembers your prior association with Lucifer."

In one room, Balthazar had collected over a dozen instruments, and bookshelves filled with sheet music lined the walls. Unable to resist, Castiel flipped through one called _Sanctus_, almost shivered as he recalled the glorious resonation of the choirs performing his favorite hymn. "How did you come by this music?"

"You might say I…procured it," Balthazar said, sliding onto one of the cedar chairs. "Those high notes at the end were a bitch." When Castiel grimaced at him, Balthazar sighed. "You know what I mean. So, if you don't mind my asking, for how long did you study with our fallen Morning Star?"

No one had ever asked Castiel about his time with Lucifer, and his wings tensed as he remembered. "Only a few weeks. Actually, it was a miracle he took me at all. Suriel auditioned and nearly ordered him to hear me…."

Balthazar threw back his head and laughed. "Lucifer never was very fond of orders, was he? Frankly, I'm surprised he didn't bring your friend to Raphael for discipline."

"It wouldn't be the first time. Suriel…wasn't interested in discipline. He fell." When he spoke the last words, Castiel bowed his head, unable to meet Balthazar's eyes. Although the other angel had identified with him as another of Lucifer's former students, Castiel expected Balthazar's disgust upon learning that Castiel had befriended a fallen.

"I don't blame him. I nearly did, myself."

Raising his head, Castiel opened his mouth to ask why, or how, or _something_, but no words came to mind.

As if he wasn't telling Castiel about a time when he had almost fallen from Heaven, Balthazar propped his legs up on the table in front of them and laid his head back against the back of his chair. "If you'd known me a little longer, you wouldn't look so surprised. I still don't get along with most of the archangels; if you ask me, Gabriel's the only one who knows how to loosen up a bit. And I'll never understand the whole mess over the humans—they're just an experiment, nothing worthy of our concern, except to amuse ourselves with on a slow day. But at the time, Lucifer did seem to have a point. I was one of his first students. For as long as I can remember, he taught me everything I knew."

Castiel wasn't sure how to reply, or if it was normal for angels to discuss their reasons for nearly falling. Most likely, he thought, no one ever spoke of it. But Balthazar was obviously not like them, although he didn't completely resemble Suriel either. While Suriel hated the other angels, perhaps not unjustly, Balthazar acted as if they were beneath his notice altogether. "So then, why…."

"Surely you recall the day Lucifer agreed to teach you and your friend?" Castiel nodded; that day was forever etched into his memory. "By my estimates, you're considerably younger than I, and I don't doubt that Suriel was as well. Lucifer made bloody well sure of that."

When Castiel could only stare, Balthazar continued, "In the months before he fell, he accepted many younger students, angels with less experience. At the Mount of Assembly, when he announced his departure, I was ready to join him—that is, until I saw all of those newly-recruited students doing the same. Regardless of his argument, he was essentially manipulating children. God knows if they even understand what they've done."

All Castiel could think of was the look of utter rapture on Suriel's face when he called down, _This is it! We have to go now! _And how prideful it had been for he and Suriel to think that Lucifer had actually been impressed by their talents. Obviously, they had been tricked like the children they were, and Castiel felt red creeping us his cheeks in humiliation."But enough of the past," said Balthazar, standing up abruptly. "You could use some cheering up. Why don't you come with me to Eden?"

"Eden?" The name struck Castiel's memory, but he couldn't quite place it.

"As in, the garden of? Adam and Eve like it well enough, and I could use a change of scenery."

He offered his right hand, but Castiel didn't move. "You said non-archangels aren't allowed."

"Did I? We won't touch anything, I promise. Imagine, being one of the first of our rank to see the Garden of Eden. Raphael might be pissed, but what else is new? More importantly, God has yet to forbid it."

The awe in Balthazar's voice was certainly persuasive, though Castiel still had his doubts. "How would we reach Earth?"

"There's a doorway in the High Temple."

_In the Temple_. There was no leaving without having to face Michael and, probably, Raphael. Castiel's lips parted slightly in concern, and Balthazar added, "Our Father will allow it, you'll see."

With a sigh, Castiel stood to his feet. In the back of his mind, the wanted to thank Balthazar for even talking to him, much less trying to show him Earth, whether they made it there in the end or not.

Still, Castiel wasn't entirely sure of why he'd followed Balthazar to the Throne, directly in the center of the High Temple. They waited until the eighth hour, when most of the angels had left the Temple, to fly there. Even as he flew beside Balthazar, he dreaded the moment when they would land in the Great City, where the Temple could be found.

For years, Castiel avoided the Great City altogether by living on the fringes of Heaven, and he had almost forgotten its beauty. Great white golden towers, pillars as high and wide as the sun, forums and gardens and long stately streets, veritable skyscrapers of translucent platinum, crimson and maroon turrets, cathedrals with bulwarks and buttresses like illuminated swans at sea, all of it shimmered before his eyes like a fountain. Unable to remember the way, he glided behind Balthazar, who soared with deliberate slowness because Castiel's wings were weak from disuse.

His heart leapt in his chest when he heard the first strains of song as they entered. Angels sang throughout the Great City, their voices carrying to the sky to join in such incomparable harmony that Castiel could have wept. Created for music and for companionship with his brethren, he'd missed both for so many years that it felt to him like becoming an angel again.

Balthazar glanced back at him and laughed as Castiel narrowly avoided slamming straight into a steeple, distracted by the Great City's beauty. "You really must get out more," he said, and the corner of Castiel's lips turned up in a smile. He thought to himself that it had been a very long time since he had last smiled. "Almost there."

They landed at the foot of the Temple, and Castiel trailed behind Balthazar, careful not to meet the eyes of the archangels when they entered. "Balthazar," said Raphael, as Castiel suppressed a shiver. "You dare show your face in here with this one? Especially after you missed at the time of worship today, yet again."

With a shrug, Balthazar said, "I was just trying to convince my friend here that he should come next time—"

"I have no time for excuses. Had you been there," Raphael continued, "you would have heard the announcement from our Lord. Eden is now free for all angels to explore."

Shocked, Castiel lifted his head, and Raphael narrowed his eyes. "If you think it does not come at a price, you are mistaken. Lucifer and his monsters roam the Earth as well, and we cannot guarantee protection from them. Also, God has not made it possible for us to interact with the man and the women. They will not hear or see you, or be aware of your presence in any way."

"Oh, spare them the lecture," said Gabriel. "There's no fun in ruining the surprises." He winked, and Balthazar grinned in response as Castiel watched in bewilderment.

"As you wish," growled Raphael, and he flung his arm out towards the portal behind him.

Light streamed from the doorway, and Balthazar strode up without a second's hesitation. "After you, my dear," he said as Castiel approached with the intention of walking through, but he froze at the threshold.

"Don't look so scared," said Gabriel. "Lucifer and his gang are dicks, sure, but they're too scared to lay a hand on any of us."

Castiel couldn't force himself forward, and he suddenly felt hands pressing against his back. Before he could react, Balthazar shoved him tumbling through the portal.

When Castiel stumbled through, Balthazar caught him before Castiel could fall on his face. He could not help but gasp, and Balthazar might have laughed if he had not been so stunned himself. Where white light bathed the golden streets of Heaven, Earth was lush and green, carpeted with flowers and brushes that resembled those of Heaven with slight variations. "These colors," Castiel breathed, "I've never seen them before."

They heard the trickle of rushing water, a noise familiar to them, but also the calls of what Castiel realized must be the creatures of Earth. One of them soared in front of Castiel with a piercing cry, and another slid through him—as Raphael had said, they did not perceive Castiel. A few feet from them stood the plant that Castiel remembered as the Tree of Life, as their Father called it on the day of its creation. In the distance, the sphere that lit the sky had begun to descend, and the sky had broken into an array of color that Castiel recognized from the jewels that had adorned Lucifer's palace. "In Heaven, there is only light, and outside there is only darkness. Here, it is…different."

"Astounding, isn't it?" said Balthazar. "Were you alive when He made it?"

"I'm not that young," Castiel chuckled. He remembered those days of creation as the happiest in his existence. _Let there be light_, God had said, as Castiel and Suriel gazed in awe. Immediately, far off in the spectacle of darkness beyond the Outer Reaches, a light source wobbled into being, starting first with the slightest point of light and growing. The light was sheer white, but it contained a warmth, a steady blissful shining. God had stepped out into the darkness and took the dancing orb in His hands, batting it back and forth between them as it grew.

As he tossed the light in the expanse of nothing, another orb appeared, but it was black. Then with a massive swipe, He had separated the black and the light. The white light and the black darkness circled, fused, became one and then resolved. For a moment, the light was diminished by the black, and then the black hidden by the light.

Their Father sent them spinning into space, and then blew on them with His breath. There, they grew until the black spaces beyond the Outer Reaches shone with the mixture of light and darkness, something no angel had witnessed before. _Day and night_, God had said. _It is good._ The building and forming continued for the rest of the day, until the golden light and cool dark spread from the deepest crevice to the height of the clouds. The light had shimmered and dance and flew like water, a river of light, while the darkness rested with a smooth and velvety silence that calmed those who looked upon it.

The next five days had contained more miracles than Castiel could have imagined. Water spilled into the Earth, God carved mountains from rock with the tips of his fingers and scattered stars across the sky, vegetation sprung from bare land, and creatures broke forth from the air. Sparrows, bluebirds, eagles, vultures, hawks, falcons, and others that Castiel could not recall the names of chirped and called out, winging their way through the sky. The sea surged with its own beasts, sharks and dolphins and whales, swirling through the sea with their untamed shrieks and shrills and cries.

But on the sixth day, God had knelt in the dirt and touched the surface with His gentle hands. He spoke softly, and the earth glowed with a sentient light as He shaped it, kneaded it, breathed into it. After a few moments, He stood over the form, and Castiel's wings trembled with anticipation. Slowly, the form rose, took their Father's hand, and was pulled to his feet. Every angel in Heaven scrutinized the being God called "man," with a form similar to their own, but wingless, and wearing nothing but light.

For all the wonders Castiel observed, he never anticipated that he might one day see that being face to face or walk the new land, even if he couldn't interact with it.

As they explored the garden, Castiel saw the other tree that had been named, that of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. "Quite a mouthful, isn't it?" muttered Balthazar.

"Hmm?" Castiel had been studying the tree so intently that he'd almost forgotten Balthazar's presence. Like the Tree of Life, it bore luscious, golden red fruit, and from each tree emanated a welcoming, extravagant aroma like that of the apple in blossom. But somehow, according to their Father, the two trees were nothing alike, and it was of the utmost importance for the man and the woman to beware this one.

"The name, I mean. What do you think it means?"

Pressing a finger to his lips, Castiel mulled over the question for a long moment. "Do the humans know the difference between good and evil?"

At first, Balthazar scoffed, "How could they not?" But as he thought about it, he added, "Then again, they do seem rather naïve. Don't seem entirely fair, if you ask me."

A noise broke Castiel's thoughts, and he whirled around to see the woman coming towards them from the distance, singing. She was running her hands along the bushes, flicking back branches, and Castiel frowned. "Lucifer was right in one respect." When Balthazar glanced up at him, he added, "Their music is very different from ours."

Balthazar laughed. "I find it quite charming, don't you? They do try so very hard."

As the woman walked, one of the beasts was crawling behind her. "What is that?" asked Castiel, pointing.

"Adam calls it a serpent. Ugly little brute, isn't it?" The creature had caught up with Eve and she stopped as it wrapped around her ankle to bend down and stroke its head. It coiled around her arm, sliding up, eyes wide with curiosity. Castiel knelt beside them, reaching towards the animal even though he knew he couldn't feel it, and Balthazar sighed with disinterest. "Wait here, I'll look for Adam. You won't believe the size of his pets."

While Balthazar was gone, Castiel listened to the woman singing and tried to understand the words. She repeated many of them, and when she stopped singing to speak to the serpent, he heard the same syllables several times before he realized that their language must not be as developed as Enochian. Compared to her soft sounds, the angels' tongue seemed a thunderous roar.

Suddenly Castiel heard, in a familiar voice, "You're the last one I expected to see here."

Every feather stood on edge as he turned to face the other angel, if Suriel could even be called that anymore. "And watching the woman, no less," he continued. "I gotta admit, you've surprised me."

Suriel still appeared as an angel, but then, he must have fled Hell at some point in order to access Eden, and perhaps before his features had twisted like some of the others that Michael had warned of. But he stood taller than Castiel had ever seen him, his wings stretched to their full extent, and Castiel felt unnervingly small in comparison. "I am not watching _her_," said Castiel, a little more loudly than he intended.

"Hey, don't worry; I'm hardly here to judge you. But alright, whatever you say."

"You should not be here," Castiel said, through gritted teeth.

Although Suriel had been smiling before, it was more of a sneer when he had teased Castiel about Eve. It softened into a genuine smile as he said, "You know, I always missed you, but I'd forgotten how much I actually enjoyed having someone who was so determined to follow the rules just for the sake of it."

Under pressure, Castiel's first instinct was to look away, but he forced himself to meet Suriel's eyes. They were hard-set and narrow, with no trace of the mischievous glint, which meant he was probably just as distraught as Castiel at the sight of his old friend. "It's more than that. I am loyal to our Father."

"What'd you get for all that loyalty?" demanded Suriel, crossing his arms. "I'm loyal to my master, and he's rewarded me with one of the highest positions in Hell. We would never climb the ranks under your Father."

"No, Suriel, ourFather—He's _our _Father. Lucifer has only—he's divided us, brother against brother. God never wanted that for us."

Suriel shook his head, the expression on his face more grave than Castiel had ever seen from him. "Is that why we were ignored, cast out like we were worth less than our brothers? And maybe I deserved it; I hadn't so much as stepped foot in the Temple in years, but you were the best soldier in Heaven."

When Castiel started to turn, Suriel spoke faster, more urgently. "You didn't just keep every law or spend hours on your knees or sing until you could hardly speak. You actually treated me like a brother when they just wanted God to smite me and be done with it, and they'll never accept you for that. You deserve better than this. My new family would accept you, no questions asked."

Despair clutched Castiel's soul as it had on the day of the rebellion, and his hands trembled at his sides. Long ago, he'd resolved to never think of Suriel again, and now he wanted nothing more than to leave with him. It frightened Castiel even more than when Lucifer had tried to tempt him. _Lord_, he thought, _if my prayers can reach Heaven from here, please help me_. Even though Raphael had already cautioned them that there was no protection on Earth, Castiel had to hope that God still heard him from Heaven.

A hand grasped Castiel's shoulder, and he was too shocked to shove it off. "I'm sorry, is there a problem?" said Balthazar, as Suriel backed away.

"Not at all," Suriel replied, as Balthazar closed the gap between them. "We were just talking."

"I hate to interrupt," said Balthazar, "but we're on a tight schedule. Perhaps another time?"

"Sure," Suriel replied, clearly aware that a fight against the older angel would be unwise. "Remember Castiel…you deserve better."

As Suriel vanished in a flutter of wings, and Castiel glanced at Balthazar helplessly. "That was your old friend, I take it?" Castiel nodded, and Balthazar seemed to understand that Castiel didn't want to answer any more questions. "We can go back, if you'd like. We have all eternity for sight-seeing."

All eternity, at that moment, was longer than Castiel wanted to contemplate. Again, he nodded, and Balthazar led him back to the gateway to Heaven. In an effort to distract himself, Castiel pondered as to whether God had hidden the portal from Lucifer's angels, or if they could see it but simply not pass through.

They returned to Heaven without another word, and Castiel belatedly wondered if Balthazar had ever found Adam. He thanked God silently for sending Balthazar when Suriel was trying to win him over; otherwise, Castiel admitted to himself, he might not have been able to resist for much longer.

"I trust your visit went uneventfully?" asked Raphael, in a dry voice that indicated that had better be the case.

"Of course," Balthazar lied smoothly, as Castiel worked his mouth without quite managing to get anything out.

Together, they flew out of the Great City, and Balthazar didn't leave Castiel until they were back at Castiel's time. "Just say the word if you want to go back," said Balthazar, but Castiel suspected that Balthazar knew just as well as he did that Castiel wouldn't be asking about a return trip anytime soon.


End file.
